My hope lives not because I am not a sinner, but because I am a sinner for whom Christ died; my trust is not that I am holy, but that being unholy, he is my righteousness. My faith rests not upon what I am, or shall be, or feel, or know, but in what Christ is, in what he has done, and in what he is now doing for me. On the lion of justice the fair maid of hope rides like a queen.
-Charles Spurgeon, love this quote from him and hope you find it as encouraging
…as i was saying
number five: there are no monsters under your bed. as a parent, i find monster fears challenging on two levels. first of all, i feel sad and helpless, watching my youngster, who is obviously terrified, attempt to go upstairs on her own. nothing i say or do can convince her that i would never knowingly place her in harm’s way. secondly, though, i feel frustrated. “don’t you trust me? don’t you think i know what i am talking about?” how often do i stand before God, lip quivering, accusatory glare blazing? what monsters do i imagine He has placed in my path when in reality i have nothing to fear?
number four: try to keep things in perspective. my favorite part of getting older is the gift of perspective. the little things seem, well, littler. my kids can be having “the best day ever” and five minutes later, all the good is forgot and the day is “ruined.” i may be older and wiser but not too much so. i have to constantly remind myself to look beyond the immediate and see the pattern of provision and salvation God has woven into His plan for my life. He is weaving for me “the best life ever” if i will just trust Him.
number three: be grateful for what you have. i am amazed at the endlessly unsatisfiable nature of my children. no sooner have i loaded the dishwasher from lunch and they are already asking what is for dinner. if we go to the movies, now we need popcorn and drinks and don’t forget the ice cream on the way home. i wish i were any better with my Heavenly Father but so often He has no sooner answered one prayer then i have the next request ready and waiting. if only i could learn to be content with what He has given already.
number two: two wrongs don’t make a right. do i really need to give an example? the vicious cycle of retribution among children speaks for itself. the hatfield and macoy feud must have been started by kids. and yet, within myself is a capacity for grudge holding and self-justification that makes them look like UN peacekeepers. if only i would trust God as the ultimate Judge and remember with great humility how it is that i will be found innocent before His throne.
number one: Jesus loves me this I know. the foundational truth through which all other truths flow. i should be a disney princess, frolicking through the forest while small animals trail behind me as i sing of my Savior. He hasn’t delivered me from a dragon or evil stepmother. He has delivered me from the gates of Hell. and more besides, because He has delivered me from myself. from the dragon and evil in my own heart.
this mother’s day may we all humbly praise God for the blessings He has granted. let us remember Jesus weeping over jerusalem, longing to gather His people under His wing like a mother hen. Lord, may i be found under Your protection always.
when i was in high school, my french teacher told me that i had a speech impediment and that she was going to cure me of it. i didn’t have a stutter or a lisp that required speech therapy. i had a verbal tic which caused me to use the word “like” multiple times in every sentence i uttered. “like, i totally get what you are saying mrs. broom and i will, like, really try harder.” my teacher wasn’t convinced and so she would gentle, loving, patiently hit me on the back of the head anytime i used the word within the reach of her hand.
thanks so mrs. broom’s unique approach, i eventually conquered my impediment but every once in awhile i become aware of other verbal habits i am forming. words or phrases i latch onto and use a lot. one such long-standing habits involves my family. i never get off the phone with my husband or family members without saying “i love you.” i must tell my kids, individually and corporately, a dozen times a day, “i love you.”
now before you go and paint me june cleaver, perhaps i should give some sample sentences. “no, you can’t buy a piranha…but i love you.” “sorry mom was impatient earlier…i love you.” “no, i didn’t remember to pick up that book from the library even though you reminded me several times…but i love you.” lately, i have been thinking about how more than the words i say, the things i do are teaching my kids just what it means to love someone. if i tell them over and over that i am what it means to be loved, then what are they learning. i shutter to think.
most of us know what the Bible says about love “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” is this what i am teaching my kids? not so much, except for maybe that last bit…desperately trusting, always hoping, mostly persevering.
my love may be so imperfect at times it barely resembles those words, but it is trying. and when it fails, my love does know how to apologize, how to be humble and rejoice in the truth. the trust that behind my love is a greater love. when my love falls short, i can fall back on God’s love to catch us.
so i can teach my kids about love. it just might not be my love they really need to learn about but rather God’s love for us all.my love is just a dew drop in the ocean of God’s love and though my love may be shallow and small, His love is deep and vast. in His love, we can swim…like totally.
Some Christians seem to be accepted in their own experience, at least, that is their apprehension. When their spirit is lively, and their hopes bright, they think God accepts them, for they feel so high, so heavenly-minded, so drawn above the earth! But when their souls cleave to the dust, they are the victims of the fear that they are no longer accepted. If they could but see that all their high joys do not exalt them, and all their low despondencies do not really depress them in their Father’s sight, but that they stand accepted in One who never alters, in One who is always the beloved of God, always perfect, always without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, how much happier they would be, and how much more they would honour the Saviour.
-Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening. So much of the Christian life is accepting in our hearts what our mouths claim to be true.
holy ego-butt-kick, Batman, today has not been good. i should have seen it coming but somehow i can plan a meal calendar out til sometime after our first child leaves for college but can’t look past the rosy events of today in order to see the distinct possibility of the storm clouds tomorrow.
yesterday was one of those beautiful days where the rays of heaven bounced lightly off the homeschooling halos encircling our heads. everyone stayed on schedule. everyone mastered the material. everyone remembered to take their plate into the kitchen after lunch. today was…not that. the wheels were falling off the bus before we left the station and i am pretty sure more than one heart was bruised by the ensuing chaos.
i just took my eye off the ball for a minute, or two. or the time in which is takes to watch “extreme make-over: weight loss edition” rather than do a little extra prep last night. and then there was the kid i let stay up a little too late (in order to keep me company while watching said episode). and the kid that woke up so far from the wrong side of the bed, i think he was in someone else’s room. and then there was…etc.
it is crazy how fast all those little errors in judgement pile up. like so much dirty laundry. one day your drawers are fully stocked and before you know it, you are left with mismatched socks and the underwear that you avoid wearing cause it always gives you a wedgie.
one starts to see how easy it is to wander off the straight and narrow. i used to feel so shocked when reading the biblical accounts of any one of the number of Bible superheros that start off in such enviable positions of favor with the Lord and end up in some spiritual desert, having forsaken the path of God. i must resist the temptation to shake my head in disbelief and feel superior. my focus has been known to wander as well and i certainly have felt the desert sands beneath my feet as well.
the difference between those who lie down to die in the desert and those who make their way out is small and yet enormous, a little thing and yet everything. the difference is simply the willingness to admit to being lost. to look upward and reorient oneself and ask for directions home. the former end up as skeletons buried in the sand while the later receive the lifesaving waters of grace and mercy. but you have to ask, not once but always. not one day but everyday.
so tomorrow i will start again. and today will be a grim reminder to always look keep my eyes focused. when tempted to lose focus i will pray for the grace to know better.
“prone to wander, Lord i feel it; prone to leave the God i love. here’s my heart oh take and seal it; seal it for thy courts above.”
Ah, Crab Apples! 