retreating

just wanted to share a bit with you about my latest speaking engagement. this past weekend, i had the privilege of speaking at the salem baptist women’s retreat in knoxville, tennesse. i have to confess to getting major butterflies of the stomach variety when speaking in public. speaking in the community in which i grew up added the pressure of looking into the audience and seeing my high school secretary who knew me when smiling back at me. but these ladies were so kind. it was truly an honor to fellowship with them.

the theme verse for the retreat was psalm 107:2 “Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—those he redeemed from the hand of the foe.” the entire psalm is so beautiful as it talks about God’s deliverance of His people, His faithfulness and grace to the undeserving. i loved the fact that the retreat was structured around three things: worshiping God through music, sharing our testimonies and His word.

several women from the congregation spoke about God’s work in their lives and it was so interesting to see the common themes which ran throughout these powerful stories. here are a few of my thoughts on the weekend:

1) we are all Christians but unique individuals called by God to play a special role in His kingdom. it’s easy to start stereotyping and lumping people together but it was so refreshing to see such a wide variety of personalities and life experiences on display. from the young mother to the recently widowed, we all have a place at God’s table.

2) don’t get too wrapped up in the “order” of things. i was so impressed by these women’s willingness to let things run long and value our time together over schedules and structure. this is definitely a challenge to my way of doing things but seeing their hearts so yearning for the Spirit to move helped me to relax and enjoy the ride.

3) prayer works. i can’t tell you how often i felt these women praying for me as i prepared to speak. before each session, they were there as well, gathering around, encouraging me and helping to calm my jitters. their obvious reliance on the Holy Spirit reminded me that my fears are too often centered around my pride rather than God’s purpose.

i can’t say enough to thank these beautiful women who welcomed me into their fellowship. may God bless and keep you all.

Shirtless Men and High-heeled Women

 

I’m no feminist by any stretch of the imagination—mostly because I consider it a diminishment of what I stand for as a woman. But having said as much, I would like to know what makes men think they have the right to go around half clothed. Every time I see some guy walking around bare-chested I feel as if they are saying “Yes, women look upon my manly lack of breast. Gaze upon the evidence that I will never have to endure child birth or breastfeeding-induced chaffing.” (I don’t come at this issue from a modesty standpoint, though being raised by two former Pentecostals hasn’t given me the broadest of views on the subjects.) It isn’t as though the chest you are staring at is that of the latest Calvin Klein model (we should be so lucky). More often than not it’s Fred, your fifty-something neighbor mowing his yard, who would make a great spokesman for the need to ban all trans-fats.

 

When I see such a display of male prerogative, I’m tempted to utter the childish phrase “It’s just not fair!” It puts me in mind to go out in high heels (or to go out and purchase a pair of high heels) and prance around the neighborhood shouting “Yes, men look upon my feminine fragility. Gaze upon the evidence that I will never be drafted into the military or be asked to unclog the garbage disposal.” Let’s face it, we may be of the same species but there is a considerable distance between Venus and Mars. So why fight it? What is it in me that rises up in defiance when my sons drop their drawers and go the bathroom outside while my daughter and I huddle in the port-a-potty trying to convince ourselves that the blue water really does kill all the germs?

 

There must come a point when we learn to appreciate each of our contributions to society as a whole and to the well being of one another as husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers. I think this moment came for Jim and me several years ago when he was sitting on the couch reading and I was putting away laundry. I was mindlessly doing my “woman’s work” when it suddenly dawned on me that I would be doing this menial task for him for the rest of my life. Never again would someone wash my clothes, fold my socks, etc. I walked into the living room, a little perturbed. In a rather self-righteous tone I said “It must be nice to open your drawer and, like magic, there are clean clothes to wear.” Without skipping a beat, he looked up and said “And it must be nice to go to the bank, insert your ATM card and, like magic, there is money.” He went back to reading. I went back to putting away clothes but I think that moment is the one of the defining moments of our life together for I truly believe we both walked away thinking “sucker.”