recently i have become a mentor mom for MOPS. i will give the disclaimer that i feel woefully under-qualified to mentor anyone but have really enjoyed my time with these young moms. in getting to know my small group at the beginning of the year, i told them that one of my goals is to be in the best shape of my life when i turn forty. at this, all their ears seemed to perk up and they started asking what program i was following to achieve this lofty goal. i first explained that i had just spent the last year homeschooling our four kids. during that time, my workouts mostly involved running to the closet for a moment of calm reflection i.e. hiding from the children before there was yelling and lifting the gallon of ice cream out of the freezer as my end-of-the-day reward. i wasn’t exactly running marathons before that so wanting to be in the best shape of my life wasn’t sitting the bar too terribly high. still i did share some of my workouts with them and thought you might be interested in knowing what a typical workout looks like for me.
minutes spent picking out what to wear: at least 30; the best part of exercising is the clothes so you might as well enjoy it. in fact, sometimes i just put on workout clothes and call it a day.
minutes spent trying to remember how to get the treadmill to actually start moving: 2, though i can stretch it to 3-4 if i pretend to tie my shoes or adjust my ear buds in the middle to hide the fact that i can’t remember how to turn on the machine.
minutes spent reminding myself not to mouth the words to the killer workout playlist i am listening to: 30; number of minutes i spend mouthing the words cause i forgot to listen to myself: 10.
minutes spent pretending i am racing the person next to me and winning: 30; number of minutes i am actually beating the person next to me: 0.
number of times i get distracted by the televisions or talking to a friend and almost fall of the treadmill: 7; number of times i have actually fallen off the treadmill: 2; 3 if you count making lots of screeching noises with my shoes and managing to catch myself at the last minute.
minutes spent trying to run in sync with the music i am listening to: 30; minutes actually spent running in sync with said music and feeling like a real life rock star: 30 seconds, totally worth the effort.
amount of sweat that pours out of every, and i mean every, surface of my body when running: approximately 12 gallons. amount of water i manage to drink while running in order to replace above mentioned fluids: 2 tablespoons, it’s just too much effort to reach for the water bottle.
number of times, on average, my kids call to ask if they can play minecraft or what is for dinner while i am trying not to fall off the treadmill: 4
total calories burned in an average workout: 300; number of calories burned from actual exercise: 78; number of calories burned by the stress of going to the gym: 222.
Ah, Crab Apples! 